What can I expect today?

Well, my first appointment is with the TBI Clinic. I'll be discussing my sleep interruptions that I have been having lately. I find myself having dreams, sometimes nightmares, but mostly just odd dreams and I find that I'm waking myself up talking lol. It sounds funny but its gotten old so its not so funny anymore. I end up pissed off when I open my eyes after hearing my own voice. Its rather frustrating. And I find that no matter what I do, I won't be able to go right back to sleep. It usually takes me about 2 hours to knock back out. So I may be getting a good 3-4 hours of sleep, but then I have to sneak in the last 2-3 after having been awake for a few hours. Most often than not I find myself cleaning the house at 2 in the morning while I wait for my body to decide its time to go back to sleep. I hate feeling so tired. And the medications make me feel drunk and that really is a feeling I have grown to despise over the years. I don't drink, haven't in a while and never plan to again. I hate the feeling it causes. And these medications make you feel that way. You feel drunk, you stumble around the house making your way to bed. And when you wake up, it truly feels like a hangover yet you still feel drunk too. I really can't stand that feeling. But, I have to take the meds otherwise I'd never sleep. So I guess I have to deal with it. I just wish my body would actually take the training I have put it under. Like taking the meds at a certain time. There for about a week, it worked. I had to take the meds at midnight in order to sleep all the way to the alarm, here lately that isn't even working. So, I'll fall asleep at midnight and wake up 2 hours later. Now thats definetely not good sleep. And I find myself trying to catch naps throughout the day but I know thats not conducive to trying to fix this issue. I just wish the thoughts and dreams and nightmares would stop so I could sleep completely through the night. It comes and goes, there are good days and there are bad days. There are days when I do make it all the way to the alarm. Yet on other days, I'm up 2hrs before the alarm which really irritates me. So I'm already cranky when I report into work and that's not a good thing.

Well, after the TBI clinic appt I have the "scrimmage" with the WTU folks. How am I going to go about voicing my concerns without making them feel like I'm bashing them directly? Because its certainly not my squad leader causing these problems. It's not my platoon sergeant or my first sergeant. Its not my case manager, he's great. Its not my social worker or my primary care manager. So, how do I voice my concerns about how things are run at the WTU without them taking direct offense to what I am trying to say? Perhaps I just need to share my suggestions with them to pass along to the leaders above them? Perhaps thats the approach I should use. Because its not my direct line of individuals working for me, its the folks above them that do not see what we as WT's go through on a daily basis and how demoralized we feel every day they have us do the taskings that we do. I have to prepare myself for this meeting, so that I can voice my concerns in a manner that is professional and allows them to see my point of view on the entire situation. I keep a daily log of all my appointments that tracks everything I have on my schedule. Perhaps with that I can prove that for some, who are worse off than I, seeking a job or attending school (in a classroom) is not an option that is fessible. Perhaps then they will take my suggestions to the powers that be in order to better improve the lives of the Soldiers here. The fact that I am working with Kelsy with the therapy dog thing, it gives me a sense of purpose outside of the WTU. Rather than sit at the WTU doing nothing, I'm giving back by being there at the R&R for any Soldier who wishes to reach out to Kelsy. It's something at least.

Well, off to do what I must. I hope that today goes smoothly and I look forward to returning home after the scrimmage, picking up Kelsy and heading back to the R&R for her 2nd day on the "job" :) I know she's looking forward to it. :)

Thanks for reading. More to follow.

Old Sarge Out!