Back in Texas.....

Well, I'm back in Texas after 20 days of high emotions, and lots of tears.

How it started. My mom calls me to let me know my fathers back in the hospital with pneumonia again. This time he's on a ventilator. After a few not so good days at the hospital, I get her to call Red Cross to send an urgent message back here to Fort Hood's WTU. That was Sunday, July 18th. By Sunday night, thanks to an awesome First Sergeant and Platoon Sergeant, I had a flight to Michigan at 0630 Monday morning (July 19th). Oh and I should mention the gentleman at Fort Sill, OK who got me the AER loan on a sunday night. This is the stuff that really refreshes my memory of the times when the Army really took care of their Soldiers. This is a prime example that there are some still serving who still follow this path. I am grateful for the leadership and their efforts to get me home as soon as possible.

So I get on the plane at 0600 in the morning and continue my travels to Northern Michigan. I check in with Mom, he's still stable, and I hop on the next leg of the trip. I get to Detroit and worry I won't make my next flight because we landed late and my connecting flight was already supposed to be boarding. The gate was clear across the airport......long hike. I did my pt test in the airport that day. Made it to the gate to find out our plane to Alpena was broke and we were delayed. Great.

I let mom know about the plane and I let the girl whose picking me up know I might be late. But to plan for me to be there at 2:55pm anyways. Luckily I landed at 2:57. We hit the road. It's another hour and a half drive to the hospital my dad is in. And so we're driving and then my mom calls. It was about 3:15pm when my mom calls me. He's gone. The tears start rolling. I can't believe it. I tried to so hard to get there before but it just wasn't happening. It was his time. And I am grateful that he's no longer suffering. That much I am so very grateful for.

So I finally get to the hospital and my mom and her sister are sitting outside waiting for me. I go up to my dad's room and I say my goodbyes. And I thank the staff for all their efforts. They did so well, taking care of him. They weren't those kind of people that come in, give you your meds, or your food and walk out without any conversation. They actually sat down and would talk to my dad. He had that effect on people. He was a very good man who always liked to see people smile. He was giving and wanted everyone to enjoy the joys of life as much as possible. If he saw a person in need, he'd bend over backwards to help them. That was my father. And even now, his effect on people, his giving nature continues to spread. His biggest passion these last 10 years was the Elk Country Animal Shelter and his dying wishes were that folks donate to the shelter in his honor if they so wished. And they did. It's truly amazing how many people he touched.

So, after getting mom home and starting the process of going through all my fathers belongings and parting with all the medical home care equipment that was there. We started going through all the photos he'ld taken over the years. And all the pictures we managed to get of him over the year when we could get the camara out of his hands. It was heartwrenching, yet so good to reminisce. My brother and I spent alot of time catching up. And talking about all the different things we did as kids to cause our parents heartache.

Then it came time for the service. I'm in my dress uniform and my brothers wearing of my dad's suit's. He's looking pretty sharp, looks alot like my grandpa (mom's side). So many people came. I was truly amazed at the outpouring of support that was given. I think I cried the most that day. My dress uniform as tear drops all down the front. I just couldn't keep that stone face anymore. And my mom has suffered so much alone, I couldn't help but cry for her.

Now that I am back here, I want nothing more than to leave...right now and go back there to be there for my mom. She needs my help, she needs someone there she can talk to. She's like me, she doesn't open up to just anybody. She bottles up those emotions and well, it very well could result in her having a breakdown if she doesn't have someone to talk to. So, I want to leave this place and go back to Michigan, forever. I want this MEB to be done with. I want to know where I stand and get my things together and just go. I must be there for my mom. And so, this waiting game here at the WTU is going to drive me insane. And the more they mess with us Soldiers, the more frustrated I will get. Because I don't want to be here. I want to be home.